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Dave Barry
American columnist, journalist, humorist

The Democrats seem to basically be nice people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I'd be reluctant to trust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy.

Of all the wonderful things government says ['government creates jobs' has] always been just about my favorite. As opposed to if you get to keep the money. Because what you'll do is go out and bury it in your yard, anything to prevent that money from creating jobs... They say it with a straight face and we in the press will write it down. We will say, 'This is expected to create x number of jobs.' We never say that the money we removed from another part of the economy will kill some jobs.

from an interview in Reason Magazine, by Glenn Garvin
I don't have any insight or understanding on anything about the government. All I think is that it's stupid--which is the one perspective that's almost completely lacking in Washington.

Dec. 01, 1994 - from an interview published in Reason Magazine
[Bureaucrats] If we're spending $853 trillion on some program now, and next year we spend any less, that's 'budget-cutting' to them. For them, the question is always, 'What kind of government intervention should we impose on the world?' They never think that maybe we shouldn't.

Dec. 01, 1994 - from an interview published in Reason Magazine